Nov 22

so now that i’ve had my ovaries removed, i’m starting menopause. at age 33. yay. anyways, it’s been fine so far, no REAL hot flashes, but lots of body temperature changes and lots of tiredness. i’m going to the store today to get my vitamins and calcium so i can fight osteoporosis. anyways, i’ve been having really weird dreams lately. last night, i dreamt about teeth. my teeth were falling out. one at a time. the first that i lost was right in the front and i was devastated. all i could do was wait until i could get in touch with the dentist. as i waiting to get in touch with him, other teeth were loose and falling out. i picked one up to look at it and it was hollow. i was so upset.

when i woke this morning i was brushing my teeth and remembered the dream. i decided to google dream meanings and teeth falling out and this is what i found – “In the latest research, it has been shown that women in menopause have frequent dreams about teeth. This may be related to getting older and/or feeling unattractive and less feminine.”

freaked me out.

Nov 12



ella

life moves so fast. ella is 2. talking non stop. loves to sing and dance and read books. she is up at 7am and goes all day. it’s so fun watching her learn and explore. and i love more than anything watching her and rob talk. it’s so cute and makes my heart all fuzzy.

since i got pregnant with her, i’ve had a horrid pregnancy full of hospital trips and kidney stones. i’ve been diagnosed with stage 3c breast cancer. i went through 6 brutal chemotherapy treatments. had a bilateral mastectomy and then went thru 28 days of radiation. had rapidly growing cysts on my ovaries which resulted in a bilateral oophorectomy, which i just had last week. in january of 2009, i’ll have my breast reconstruction.

i’m lucky that ella came when she did. she was my only chance. and i’m so grateful that i’m here to watch her grow up.

i think about that every. single. moment.