eclipsedbyme

i’m desperately trying to find organization in my life. i need to identify and align. i need to create and customize. i need to calm down, that’s what i need…

i want. so many things. but first i guess i need to find motivation. but shouldn’t wanting be the motivation? i thought so, but i don’t know now. it’s hard for me to tell since i still want stuff and i’m not any closer to getting it. or am i. i mean, it is almost another year gone. another year closer. to what tho? god, i hate my brain. nothing ever makes any sense when i look at it in words. i have to figure out a way to convey what i am thinking and seeing in my brain. that has to be how people go insane. you’ll find me one day in the bathtub laughing out of control, my eyes rolling back in my head periodically, blood pouring from my mouth because i can’t come up with the words… sometimes i wonder what it would be like if my brain could consume me. slowely envelope me in it’s insanity until i’m completely lost in my own little world. maybe that’s a prediction of what i have to come. dementia. the flow of one thing to another is broken. does anyone else notice that? one thing leads to dementia, leads to broken, leads to lipgloss. nerve endings triggering the wrong reaction.

i need a new layout. i need to learn some crap.
if things look funky, you know what’s up. :p

comment spam is really fucking lame.

from wwwd

“If you voted for Bush, God damn you. You have condemned countless thousands of innocent people to death with the punch of a chad or the touch of a screen. If you voted for Bush, you endorsed the torturers in Bush’s gulags at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo. You deserve to feel every volt of electronic current, hear every scream, sink into the despair that comes with knowing that you have done nothing yet you will die in an anonymous prison. If you voted for Bush, you are to blame for the coming fiscal crisis, when there will be even less money for schools and roads and, yes, armies. If you voted for Bush, you will never be forgiven. You will never deserve respect, for the decision was simple yet you deliberately chose not to do what was right.”
- Ted Rall

Jason always has some interesting info.

stupid fucking country. what the fuck is wrong with people? stupid electoral votes.
it doesn’t make sense. and we keep falling for it and falling for it. i think we all should move out of this country before we all go down with it. anybody wanna join me?

VOTE!

Eminem – Mosh Lyrics

[I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the Republic for which it stands
One nation under God
Indivisible
It feels so good to be back..]

Scrutinize every word, memorize every line
I spit it once, refuel, reenergize, and rewind
I give sight to the blind, mind sight through the mind
I ostracize my right to express when I feel it’s time
It’s just all in your mind, what you interpret it as
I say to fight you take it as I�?m gonna whip someone’s ass
If you don’t understand don’t even bother to ask
A father who has grown up with a fatherless past
Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon that has
Or at least shows no difficulty multi task
And juggling both, perhaps mastered his craft slash
Entrepreneur who has held long too few more rap acts
Who has had a few obstacles thrown his way through the last half
Of his career typical manure moving past that
Mister kiss his ass crack, he’s a class act
Rubber band man, yea he just snaps back

Come along, follow me as I lead through the darkness
As I provide just enough spark, that we need to proceed
Carry on, give me hope, give me strength,
Come with me, and I won’t stear you wrong
Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog
Till the light, at the end, of the tunnel, we gonna fight,
We gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march through the swamp
We gonna mosh through the marsh, take us right through the doors

To the people up top, on the side and the middle,
Come together, let’s all bomb and swamp just a little
Just let it gradually build, from the front to the back
All you can see is a sea of people, some white and some black
Don’t matter what color, all that matters is we gathered together
To celebrate for the same cause, no matter the weather
If it rains let it rain, yea the wetter the better
They ain’t gonna stop us, they can’t, we’re stronger now more then ever,
They tell us no we say yea, they tell us stop we say go,
Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know
Stomp, push up, mush, fuck Bush, until they bring our troops home come on just . . .

Come along, follow me as I lead through the darkness
As I provide just enough spark, that we need to proceed
Carry on, give me hope, give me strength,
Come with me, and I won’t stear you wrong
Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog
Till the light, at the end, of the tunnel, we gonna fight,
We gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march through the swamp
We gonna mosh through the marsh, take us right through the doors, come on

Imagine it pouring, it’s raining down on us,
Mosh pits outside the oval office
Someone’s trying to tell us something, maybe this is God just saying
we’re responsible for this monster, this coward, that we have empowered
This is Bin Laden, look at his head nodding,
How could we allow something like this, Without pumping our fist
Now this is our, final hour
Let me be the voice, and your strength, and your choice
Let me simplify the rhyme, just to amplify the noise
Try to amplify the times it, and multiply it by six
Teen million people are equal of this high pitch
Maybe we can reach Al Quaida through my speech
Let the President answer on high anarchy
Strap him with AK-47, let him go
Fight his own war, let him impress daddy that way
No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our soil
No more psychological warfare to trick us to think that we ain’t loyal
If we don’t serve our own country we’re patronizing a hero
Look in his eyes, it’s all lies, the stars and stripes
They’ve been swiped, washed out and wiped,
And Replaced with his own face, mosh now or die
If I get sniped tonight you’ll know why, because I told you to fight

So come along, follow me as I lead through the darkness
As I provide just enough spark, that we need to proceed
Carry on, give me hope, give me strength,
Come with me, and I won’t stear you wrong
Put your faith and your trust as I guide us through the fog
Till the light, at the end, of the tunnel, we gonna fight,
We gonna charge, we gonna stomp, we gonna march through the swamp
We gonna mosh through the marsh, take us right through the doors

And as we proceed, to mosh through this desert storm, in these closing statements, if they should argue, let us beg to differ, as we set aside our differences, and assemble our own army, to disarm this weapon of mass destruction that we call our president, for the present, and mosh for the future of our next generation, to speak and be heard, Mr. President, Mr. Senator

only he can bleed what i want to say so he’s my outlet for now…

and i cannot stop shaking because you cannot stop shaking
and these chords they are trembling because your words they are bleeding
and these holes in my hands are for you, just for you
she called out to her maker to now be her savior
my love, these holes in my hands are for you, just for you
..jacob bannon..

i need you to be the strength of widows and soul survivors
i need you to be as fearless as new mothers and new fathers
i need you to be the hope of hearts who lost true love
i need you to be the might of their first kiss
i need a purpose and i need a reason
i need to know that there is trophy and meaning
to all that we lose and all we fight for
to all our loves and our wars
keep breathing
keep living
keep searching
keep pushing on
keep bleeding
keep healing
keep fading
keep shining on
this is for the hearts still beating

..jacob bannon..

seriously. i’d like to know. because i care? maybe. doubtful. because it would be easier to do whatever he would? likely. i’m a loser maybe. or maybe i should be thankful that i actually have a brain. who knows. who knows about anything really. it’s all a giant fucking mystery. woofuckinghoo. so that’s that… now on to other things. wait. there isn’t anything else. gay. friggin gay… my brain is pretty much mush at this point. i’ve gone back and forth. now what? bah. meh. blergh. all of it…

the only shiny moment i have is you and vacation and us and things and time! omg, time! what the hell is that again? i forget! i’m going to make you food! yummy things with lots of cheese! and a birthday cake! mmm yummy! i’m going to cuddle you to sleep every night too. i miss that so much it hurts. i’m going to rub your shoulders and give you hugs and kisses everyday too. because i’m a freak like that. and i meant it when i said i was gonna latch on and not let go… have i told you this already? i was dead at the time!

things. words. time. things. vacation. words. you. you. miss you. words. vacation. autumn. leaves. breezy. words. vacation. things. you. vacation. you. time. autumn. you. words. YOU. VACATION. YOU. YOU. YOU…