eclipsedbyme

after looking back through my past entries, now that they are all here (thanks rob and fred), i realized how much i used to write. i miss it. i’m going to start posting my poems and thoughts again. it’s good for the soul.

somebody hacked my site and was using it for illegal things. i’ve decided the internet is really lame. i’m gonna try wordpress and if it doesn’t make me happy, i’m quitting the net.

i love my little munchkins. they are so much fun. i got an awesome valetine from them today at work. it made my day. all i can do is talk about babies. it’s insane. one of these days i’ll update about something else.

i’ve got a new niece named kalin. she’s so pretty. my best friend had her second son the other day as well. i’ve been surrounded by babies. i’ve been knitting. i’ve been nesting. it’s my turn next. :)

the view from my living room window in summer

kiah and tess playing in the leaves

kiah and her daddy

kiah

me and dakota napping

the first snow

wow, i haven’t updated in forever. i haven’t really done anything in forever. work takes over my life most of the time. that’s really kinda sad that i let it happen. but i don’t know what else to do. blerg. if it wasn’t for a few people who keep me entertained…

i broke out my old alice in chains cds this morning(which you would see on the right if kung-tunes was working). jar of flies is one of the best albums ever. it’s too bad layne died. they could still be putting out some cool music today. i remember they were the openers at my first show, and it was right before man in the box came out, and everyone was giving them crap. my friend and i were in awe. they were awesome. and they had balls coming out onto a stage opening for anthrax, megadeth, and slayer. that was a fun show.

i’ve been restless lately. i wanna sing. i don’t do the little things i love enough. i need a band. :) who wants to rock out with me?

i feel like i’ve been busy. my house is messy like i haven’t had time to clean it. or maybe i’ve been lazy. i’ve been busy and lazy at the same time.

i went to an awesome pagan festival the other weekend and it was lots of fun. i love the coming of autumn. i wish it could autumn all year. i got a lovely little goddess statue that i will hang in my room. i’ve missed that part of my life. i am happy to have it back. i feel like i’m nesting and preparing. a change is coming soon.

the fryeburg fair is coming at the end of this month. i’m so excited. i haven’t gone in about 4 years now and i’ve missed it bunches. i’m hoping to go for a whole day. i’m particularly interested in seeing piglets. i have a little obsession with them. i want one. cutest animal ever. i’m also just looking forward to being outside in the crisp autumn air. mmm, pumpkins and gords, apple picking and cider, leaves crunching under my feet….

miss kiah turned 1 on august 23rd. i love her so much. it’s so fascinating to watch her learn and grow. she’s walking now and it’s just so cool to see her little legs move her around. she visited yesterday and had me giggling bunches. i was holding the gray kitty and she would pet his head, he’d meow (in his always whiny tone) and she would mimic him. but she thought he was crying, she was genuinely sad for him. it’s was so cute. she was concerned about him the whole time she visited. she’s just so lovely. she will have a new sister soon. i’m gonna be an auntie times 2. how exciting!

there is a classic car show coming this weekend. i’m looking forward to seeing some gto’s. i’m pretty sure i’ll feel like i need to buy one. man, i totally wish i could. i wanna rock around the streets in a loudmouthed car. that would be hot. also coming up is minigolf smackdown. fucking rock on. this was an awesome event last year and i think this year it’s going to be even better. it seems some 30+ people will be participating. woo! watch out bitches! i want the winning team this year!

i became the news chick on the angry panda show podcast last night as well. podcasting is quite fun. yet i did a terrible job on my first show. forgive me now, laugh if you need to. i mangled the news, did a terrible job pronouncing things, and just plain sucked hard. next week i will recover. and if i do not, i won’t subject you all to my suckiness any longer. be easy on me. i’ll be less anxious next time. :)

i love 3 day weekends. we need them forever. i have so much around the house that i wanna do before winter. i really need to get busy. but i think today i’m gonna just sit back, relax and enjoy the cool air and the warm sun. maybe read a little. speaking of that, i need to get some books out of the box in the basement. perhaps i’ll go do that now.

i suck at updating this shit lately. i suck at a lot of things. blerg. one of these days, my brain will stop long enough for me to spit out something more than whiny banter about shit that only i understand.

and i draw a line
to your heart today
to your heart from mine
a line to keep us safe

have you ever had a dream with an imposing sense of doom in it the whole time? but you never sort of figure out what was making you feel that way? i was walking, kitty was following me, and i was taking pictures of the way the sun came through the trees as storm clouds were rolling in. i turned around and there was a home, a normal family home. except all the windows were gone and what pieces of glass were left were blackened. inside there was normal furniture, white bedspread with flowers on it, kitchen table with a beige table cloth… but the outside of the house was black, burned, and really depressed looking. i took pictures of it from the street until i noticed that kitty was gone. he had ventured inside. i was terrified because i wasn’t going in there. i called him from the street. he looked at me from the kitchen and meowed. he was in every window, walking along the blackened glass pieces, meowing madly. something was not right, and i felt it to my bones. i ended up staying in the house across the street all night, looking out, waiting for my kitty to reappear. the people in the house were nice the day before, but became mean as the night moved on. by morning i was desperate to finish my walk home. i noticed i had duct tape around my wrists like bracelets. i don’t remember this, i don’t remember this… i went out with my camera, and kitty was outside with me. but he wasn’t the same and neither was i. we walked slowly home, quietly, listening to the wind howl as another storm began to blow in. i was taking pictures of the way the black bled through the trees as storm clouds were rolling in. the outside of everything, just as the house was, was blackened, burned and depressed.